Strictly - The First Weekend - part 2

And so, on to Saturday. We get a brief recap of the previous night’s dance based shenanigans, and then everyone trips down the stairs in what I think was the same order as last night, but in a whole truck load of different outfits. I hope we’re going to see some of those on the dance floor – this show must cost a fortune in dress material alone.

We start this evening with Harry McFly (I’m going to call him that all the way through btw) doing his Cha Cha Cha. And my word, the jokes about having to punch the instructions into a drummer need to be set aside here – he’s not half bad is our boy band rhythm basher, and the audience love it, rewarding him with the first of many standing ovations we get tonight. Then we have Rory Bremner, who did a waltz, with Erin. He did it as Tony Blair. Really, go look at the footage again, it’s bizarre.  Erin really deserves to go a long way in this competition, but they continually pair her with celebs who are useless. Let’s hope Rory manages to do an impression of a dancer for long enough to give Erin a fair crack at the Glitter Ball.

Alex Jones next. She’s going for sexy flirting over dance ability – point your bloomin toes woman, for goodness sake. Sex appeal only ever gets people so far in this competition.  James Jordan her partner has a pop at Judge Craig, even though Craig was making some valid points. The arguing has therefore started very early this year, again increasing the effect that SCD is going down the slippery slope towards soap-dom. I want something more intelligent from my broadcasting. And I realise I’m asking this of a pro-celebrity dance show. But why must we always talk down to the audience? Why can’t we just show a dance contest, with constructive criticism from judges who aren’t playing to a baying mob, and where the person who is the best dancer is the eventual winner.

And then onto Chelsee from Waterloo Road, who does an absolutely manic waltz with new guy Pasha. The judges picked up on the manic-ness but also picked up on how difficult that all was for her.This is the second year running that there has been someone from Waterloo Road on, and they really need to stop portraying those actresses like they are thick Northern Chavs. At this point, and following the “James incident” Craig started being ineffectual with his comments and really, really quite harsh with his points. There’s just no need for it, and it spoils the show, both for us as viewers and the celebs taking part, who must get disheartened.

And then on to Nancy and Anton. Poor, poor Anton, who, rather like his professional partner Erin, always seems to get the thin end of the wedge. Nancy was just awful, complete stuff up with the feather boa notwithstanding. And she’s not even going to get the “Ann Widdecombe” vote either. No, that, on this performance, will go to Edwina. What on earth was Vincent thinking? There seems to be a certain school of thought (and Anton did it too) that “older” women – and by that, I mean anyone over the age of about 40, which isn’t old, but these people seem to think it is – and BREATHE!, can’t do any serious dancing. James showed that to be wrong last year with Pamela. Anita was having fun but doing serious choreography the previous night, Brendan looks like he’s trying to do something similar with Lulu. But Anton and now Vincent, seem to think, somehow, that “older” means “comedy”, that they can’t do serious choreography and that the celebs can’t and won’t be any good. This is plainly nonsense – Pamela got to the last three last year, and she was in her 60s. June Brown did the Christmas Special last year in her 80s (yes, obviously, that’s different to an entire series, but she is in her 80s, and they gave her a flattering frock and nice, admittedly gentle choreography, and a relatively long rehearsal time, but it’s still a valid point). It is yet another thing that is making this show more like a soap, and less like an entertainment show.

We finished with the other Aussie, the lovely Jason Donovan (yes, I’m biased). He was also good, but having seen the footage of the launch show dance rehearsals, we’d expect nothing less. The Priscilla experience appears to have given him the confidence to be just camp enough without overdoing it. He has obviously practised and practised and practised, and it really showed, in a performance that ended the show on a high after a run of lacklustre and bizarre performances – irrespective of how the baying mob of an audience may have been encouraged to respond.

Look, I like SCD, I really do, don’t let this entry make you think otherwise. I’ll be watching it until the end of the season to see who wins, although there may well be some weeks where I fast forward through the padding to get to the meat of the actual dancing. But I worry that in trying to persuade some people who are watching the X Factor on ITV to try SCD instead, they are dumbing the show down. Here’s the thing, X Factor has viewing figures of what – somewhere between 10 and 12 million. That leaves about 50 million people who aren’t watching the X Factor, for the BBC to go after. Perhaps, if they didn’t try to dilute the format, to make it a parody of itself, to reduce everything to “Craig is the nasty judge”, “Anton never wins” then perhaps the viewing figures might increase. Let the viewer decide for themselves, don’t lead them with heavily edited interview clips and rehearsal footage. Don’t try to influence people with the costumes the celebs are put in (Chelsee’s Launch Show Hot Pants – anything Edwina’s worn so far, including that god awful necklace from Saturday). Let the audience decide for themselves, and we may get a better, less formulaic show because of it.

I know that “we” in the “dance community” are supposed to be grateful that we even have dance on “primetime TV”, to just accept it if the whole thing is reduced to the level of a talent contest where the most talented person is not necessarily the winner, to be mindful of the fact that the show apparently delivers a big boost to “dance sport” in this country. But I’d much prefer it if the dancing got treated with respect and a bit of seriousness. If the pros got to strut their stuff on an “individual couples” basis, rather than all the pros doing big group dances. And for goodness sake, show us the feet of the dancers – they are there to dance, at least show all of the dancer’s bodies, not just close ups of heads and backs. If within the weekend shows, there was a couple of minutes to explain what each dance is about, and what elements the judges are looking for. We don’t even get that much of that in It Takes Two any more. The BBC is supposed to entertain, educate and inform, and to do all three in this programme could be quite easy, if only some Executive Producer could see past the quick ratings grab of putting the younger female celebs in dresses that aren’t really there, relegating the men to “also rans” as much as possible, and writing off anyone female and over 40 as “obviously too tired and past it” whilst broadcasting a show that contains lots of sound cues and quick edits to appeal to an audience which is assumed to have the attention span of a nat. Then, maybe, we could get a show worthy of the BBC, and worthy to us as an audience.