And here we go, we’re under starter’s orders – and we’re off! Two shows, just about two hours of “live TV”, and judges scores which will rollover until next week, which will be the first time anyone is eliminated. It’s almost like they’re trying to get their money out of the celebs, and possibly suggests that the Pros have got their shit together on the collective bargaining front.
Is this Live TV? I’m really not sure. The excellent Diamond Geezer just happened to be wandering past Television Centre on Saturday morning, and apparently saw the audience queuing some eight hours in advance, so it must have been, although this would have been easy to have done on a pre-record. Doing it actually live however gives the celebs a taste of the stress without it having any negative consequences for another week.
Let’s talk about Tess’ dresses. Friday’s was nice. Actually *not awful*. It suited her and didn’t make her look fat. It was a purple short thing. I say short, I think it was just about skirting her arse. There was a bit of a sleeve, but all told, it was alright. Obviously, this couldn’t last, so on Saturday they put her in some gods awful black, slitty, short and long thing, that managed to make her look thin, and fat, tall and short and possibly almost tripped her up at one point. Seriously, what has Tess done to annoy the dressers and stylists?
No pro dances tonight, it’s just all pro-celeb couplings with training footage and crows nest based Tess interviews. No live music either, this is SCD pure and raw!
And our first victim, sorry, competitor, is Holly Valance. The audience like her Cha Cha Cha, the judges give it 28 points. It wasn’t bad, but I’m not sure it was *that* good. I think she was probably very nervous (a trait in over supply over these two shows). Next up is Dan Lobb, this year’s recruit designed to encourage ITV to mention SCD in slightly complimentary tones. And oh. My. Word, he's got the blumin arch! The arch with the swing from last year? It's been resurrected (never say you don't get value for money from your licence fee!) but this time there's no swing, just a bench. It still looks daft though. Very, very daft.
And then came Lulu and Brendan Cole. And it started so well, with a lot of show and flare. And then Lulu just completely forgot the choreography. Completely and totally, and unfortunately whilst she was on the opposite side of the dance floor from Brendan, who couldn’t even grab her into hold and do something with her. They got to the end of the music, and the scores should really have been better for the bit they managed to get through.
From there we had the very tall Audley Harrison, followed by the very stompy Robbie Savage. You could see Robbie’s mind working overtime during the routine – “now my foot must be here, now Here, And Here, AND HERE”. If he gains some musicality, it might turn out OK. If he stays in that long. Then we were on to Anita Dobson, who is having the time of her life, and doesn’t care who knows about it. We finished the evening with Russell Grant, who I swear, was wearing glittery eye-shadow. He is also having tremendous fun, and this show should be all about that, people who have no dance background, getting out there, having fun, learning something and becoming better dancers. I worry that SCD, like so many other reality TV shows, is losing the focus on its original mission and becoming something, something different somehow, something of a soap opera, with a plotline, and a hero, a heroine, a comic relief, a villain.
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