Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Pineapples are not the only fruit

I kind of stopped watching Big Brother and it's various spin offs a few years ago - I just sort of grew away from it really. I always kind of kept an eye on who was on the celebrity version ("CBB") just for voyeurism's sake.

CBB is back now, on Channel 5, and I only half noticed who the cast mates were. Mr Annelle turned the TV onto Channel 5 by accident on Sunday, to discover that Andrew Stone was one of the inmates. Now, "Pineapple Dance Studios", and it's follow up "Louis Spence's Showbusiness" ("LSS") are two of my most recent TV guilty pleasures. As you may be able to tell from my limited entries on here, I like Dance, and my obsession with Pineapple extends to the ownership of two tops, a bag and a following of now ex-receptionist Laura Pye on Twitter. Andrew Stone was one of the featured members of staff on Pineapple and LSS. He is portrayed as a serious wannabe, a self styled "Triple Threat" (genuine 'Industry Speak' for someone who can Dance, Sing and Act) and the front man of the frankly comically mediocre band "Starman". I suspect some editorial bias here - the producers already had "the wacky camp guy" in Louis, and Andrew can't compete with that. So he was portrayed as the seriously delusional ego-maniac instead.

Those people who are granted access to my highly infrequent and often cryptic musings on Facebook, will have been aware that in November, I spent a weekend in London. I wasn't going to waste the opportunity, and on the Thursday evening rocked up at Pineapple intending to participate in Andrew's "R'n'B Jazz" class.

I was greeted by Giles, who also featured in Pineapple and LSS. I managed to maintain my composure and not be a weird fan girl for long enough to engage in conversation about the suitability of the class, pay my door fee, listen to the directions to the changing room and the Studio I needed, and then I was in!

I was early, very early, and so had enough time to change at my leisure in the frankly very nice ladies changing rooms - much nicer than they seem on TV.  The changing rooms were in the basement. The studio I needed was on the 2nd Floor. It is a long way up, and the stairs were very, very steep. I was, to be frank, out of breath by the time I got up to the appointed space. A few minutes later, Andrew arrived. His hair was just plain brown, with none of the highlights the TV audience is so used to. He seemed polite and keen, and a little bit cheeky.

I am used to dance classes of this style, if even very vaguely, but was also well aware that I was out of shape and at the end of three days of intense activity in the day time. The lights went down, the music went up (J Lo's "Dance on the Floor" - I had it in my head for the next 24 hours) and we started sweating. Given Andrew's slight celebrity status, and the relatively good time of the class (6pm) I was surprised that, even allowing for late arrivals, there were only 7 of us plus Andrew. Pineapple works by hiring their rooms to the teachers for the hour of the class - they also publish their hire rates on their website, and assuming that there isn't any discounts for teachers, I suspect he made very little, if anything from this hour.

I was knackered by the end of the warm up, and when we got on to sit-ups (a favoured warm up of some dance teachers), I was ready to sleep the sleep of the just. Andrew by this point was dripping with sweat. The two girls at the front who were obviously class and club regulars were doing just fine keeping up, myself and the other newbies at the back were panting along showing willing. We then moved onto the routine, which was challenging but achievable. It involved some frankly scary floorwork, but we only had to handle that in the last section of the class. We then did the usual showing of the routine - the two regulars were fab, the rest of us were enthusiastic.

And so, what did I think of Andrew? He is very, very good. He knows what he is doing, and the attitude that comes across on TV as cocky, is because he knows he is good, and because he is just absolutely oozing passion for what he does. He is physically very fit, and given that he is 39 now, his stamina and ability to still be carrying on in dance, especially with the intensity he demonstrated here, is very impressive. He wants to show you how to do what he can, and he wants you to know that he loves this, and you should too. He has obviously had some classical dance training, and he actually corrected my technique on a couple of occasions, something which is often lacking in classes of this type. I had an absolutely fabulous time - when I am next in London, I will go to his class again.

Oh, and the "but is he gay?" question. Hmm. On reflection, I don't think he is gay. He's certainly very camp, but then he's been in showbiz for about 20 years, and the insanity of that business does rub off on you eventually. In essence, if you and I didn't spend 8 hours a day engaged in the 9-5, with a commute at either end, we'd probably be as wildly keen about our lives and our daily experiences as Andrew is. We could probably all learn a lot from this - this is how you get to live your life if you haven't had the passion and joy sucked out of your life by the brutality of the mortgage, the school run and the horror of the weekly supermarket shop. "Camp" is different to "Gay", and actually, I don't think he is all that "camp" - as I say, he just obviously loves what he does and exudes that joy and passion in a way that can be, and seemingly frequently is, subject to mis-interpretation.

As I write this, Andrew has just been evicted from the CBB house, to a decidedly mixed reaction. He's taken it quite well, I just hope he doesn't do anything foolish, publicity wise, over the next few days, in response to that.

And at least he'll be able to teach his class at Pineapple tomorrow night!